We often feel stressed when our child has a tantrum. As children, we were taught to control our emotions, and we feel uncomfortable with these big displays of emotions.
Instead of trying to “control” your child's emotions, help them learn how to express their feelings more appropriately. Teach your child that emotions can be helpful rather than harmful.
Know that it is natural for you to experience stress in response to your child’s tantrum. Accept that you are feeling stress — name your stress — and take 1 or 2 deep and grounding breaths.
Cool Breaths and calm body (Put Your Oxygen Mask on First)
Help your child to notice how they feel and label that feeling. When you do this, you are helping your child recognize the sensation of anger, worry, or sadness and to be able to name it.
Acknowledge and Accept the Underlying Emotion or Need
Some children need a little space to calm their over-stimulation. Some children want comfort, and some children respond well to silliness. These are all ways that children use to reset or recenter — to regulate themselves.
You can help your child by asking them if they want comfort, space, or silliness. Consistently offering these three things will help your child build a healthy foundation for self-regulation.
Once your child is feeling better, help them notice that they felt the emotion and now that emotion has moved on. Children often think that each emotion will last forever