I’m a developmental psychologist with a Ph.D. from the University of Notre Dame, where my research focused on emotion regulation and effortful control in the first five years of life. My postdoctoral work at UNC Chapel Hill examined the biological underpinnings of stress and emotion regulation — the neuroscience that now forms the foundation of everything you’ll find on this site. I’ve been translating that research for parents for over twenty years.
I love kids. I love how they see the world and how they express their emotions and impulses so purely. As a researcher, I realized that so much of what we found in the lab was never communicated well to the people who could use it most — parents, teachers, and counselors — those who are actually raising the next generation.
That is my mission at Nurture and Thrive — to bring you the knowledge you need to trust the amazing instincts you already have, and to give you practical tools for the tough moments.
The Heart-Mind Method
The Heart-Mind Method is my approach to parenting rooted in one core idea: the nurture we bring to our children — especially in the hard moments — literally shapes how their nervous systems learn to handle stress. My own research, and decades of developmental science, shows that parental responsiveness can rewrite a child’s biological story. When we show up for our kids in those hard moments, we are doing the most important work of our lives — we nurture, and they thrive.
This method is my framework for helping parents harness that power through practical, science-backed tools.
Ashley Söderlund, Ph.D.
Developmental Psychologist | University of Notre Dame | Postdoctoral Fellow, UNC Chapel Hill | RYT 200 | Founder, Nurture and Thrive
Raise Children with Big Hearts ❤︎ and Strong Minds
Did you know that there is a literal connection between the heart and the mind? This connection is through a rather large cranial nerve, called the vagus nerve. This nerve creates a feedback circuit from the heart, lungs, and abdomen to the brain.
Babies have this nervous system, but it’s not fully developed in the first few years. To regulate their physiological state, babies instead use primitive brain-stem circuits.
The vagus nerve is the first thing to react to emotion or stress. When you have a big emotion — especially fear or worry — but it could also be big feelings of love, the brain releases its hold on the heart — just in case it needs to start beating a little faster — it will be ready. This is before your palms start to sweat, before breathing accelerates, and before you even start thinking about fleeing or fighting.
All of this happens unconsciously, but you can teach yourself to be aware of it. Through things like meditation and yoga, you can strengthen the vagal system and thus your awareness of it.
The Heart-Mind Connection: How We Learn to Love
- When we teach our children to name their emotions — to speak them out loud and not suppress them — we strengthen this heart-mind connection.
- When we teach our children to breathe through the emotion — we strengthen this heart-mind connection.
- When we teach our children that their feelings are important, and their actions affect others — we strengthen this heart-mind connection.
- When we hold space for our children’s emotions, even the big ones, and the negative ones, all the while setting firm limits on behavior — we strengthen this heart-mind connection.
- When we are the calm in face of our kid’s big emotions, the port in the storm — we strengthen this heart-mind connection.
- When we teach our children to have empathy for others — we strengthen this heart-mind connection.
Join me in nurturing your child’s heart-mind connection based on the science of self-regulation. Let’s nurture them and watch them thrive.
I would love to chat with you. Contact me directly at ashley@nurtureandthriveblog.com.