Age two is a momentous year full of critical developmental milestones. Your 2-year-old is most likely developing a strong sense of self-will and independence, yet they are still very much dependent on you for help regulating their basic needs and emotions. This push-pull dynamic will continue over the following months and years as their regulation system becomes more mature.
As you respond to their needs, tantrums, and need for independence, you are helping to shape their ability to bounce back from life stressors. Understanding your two-year-olds’ development will help you recognize that tantrums are normal, what looks like defiance is probably self-will, and that regulation skills will develop with time.
As a mom and a developmental psychologist, I have seen firsthand how children develop at different rates. If your child hasn’t reached a milestone yet, it doesn’t necessarily mean a developmental delay is present.
Children born prematurely, for example, may meet some milestones later than their peers, yet by the age of five, they catch up to their peers. However, speaking to your pediatrician if you suspect your child is experiencing a developmental delay is essential. Early interventions work well because there is so much opportunity to grow in early childhood.
For more about parenting your two-year-old, read this: The Secret to Your 2-Year-Old’s Heart (and gaining their cooperation)
Your 2-year-old’s Milestones: Movement and Physical Development
Some pretty incredible things happen with your two-year-old as they develop more muscle coordination and strength.
Large Movement Motor Skill Milestones:
At age 2, most children can/will:
- Walk and run
- Kick a large ball
- Walk (not climb) up the stairs with or without help
- Eat with a spoon
- Jump off of objects, jump in place
- Climb larger structures
Fine Motor Skills Milestones
At age 2, most children can/will:
- Take the lid off of a container using two hands.
- Flip switches
- Open knobs
- Push buttons
- Turn single pages of a book
- Stack blocks
- Starts to show a preference for one hand over the other
Ideas for Parents to Support Movement and Physical Development: Here are some fun ways to support your child’s motor development: build obstacles courses out of sofa pillows or boxes, ask them to turn the pages of a book when you read, and provide different (sizes and shapes)kinds of colored pencils, crayons, and sidewalk chalk.
Your 2-year-old’s Milestones: Brain, Language, and Cognitive Development
Your child’s cognitive milestones will explode during this year of life!
Cognitive Milestones
At age 2, most children can/will:
- Play with multiple toys simultaneously (e.g., They may put a firefighter figurine into a firetruck or a food toy onto a plate).
- Sort by shapes and colors
- Begins make-believe or imaginative play
- Finds objects when they are hidden by a blanket
- Uses problem-solving skills when they encounter a problem
Language Milestones
At age 2, most children can/will:
- Point to objects as you ask questions when reading a book
- Begins putting two to three words together to form a sentence
- Recognizes two or more body parts when asked where they are
- Blow kisses or nod yes instead of just cute baby waves and pointing
- Recognize the names of familiar people
- Follow simple instructions
- Repeats words they have heard in conversation
Your child’s brain is going through tons of changes. A two-year-old brain has twice as many synapses as an adult’s to allow them to soak up as much information as possible. With experience, the connections that are used strengthen, and the less used connections will be pruned. Until that happens, keep in mind that your child will be more prone to overstimulation.
Brain Development Milestones
At age 2:
- Synapses between brain cells are double
- Since birth, the nervous system and brain have become myelinated (coated with a fatty substance that aids communication in the brain).
- Shift from the development of sensorimotor systems to higher order systems like social skills and language.
- A child’s brain is susceptible to positive and negative experiences because of how malleable the brain is.
Ideas for Parents to Support Brain, Cognitive, and Language Development: Create a scavenger hunt and have your child look around the room for objects you may have hidden. Give them clues to lead them to the object. While out and about, tell your child the names of objects you see to broaden their vocabulary. Read books to your child daily. Other ways to help your child’s cognitive development: The Best Four Things You Can Do For Your Child’s Brain.
Your 2-year-old’s Milestones: Social and Emotional Development
There are some exciting shifts at age 2 in their social and emotional world. Your 2-year-old will start to develop empathy and also greater emotional and self-awareness. They may equally want closeness to you and independence.
Social and Emotional Milestones:
At age 2, most children can/will:
- Notice when someone is hurt.
- Look at your facial expressions to gauge how they should react to a new situation.
- Copy the faces they see in books, on tv, or on your face.
- Imitate another toddler or peer.
- Become aware of themselves as separate from others.
- Begin to show signs of defiance as self-awareness grows.
- May show increased episodes of separation anxiety at school or childcare dropoff.
- Increasingly excited about the company of other children.
Ideas for Parents to Support Social and Emotional Development: You are your child’s best toy! Getting on their level and engaging in play — taking turns, asking questions, and modeling empathy are some of the best ways your child learns about socialization. Also, let your child help with chores around the house — fostering a sense of helpfulness is essential at this early age.
What to do if you are concerned about your child’s development…
Before rushing to conclusions, remember that each child develops differently and at their own rate. Monitor your child’s milestones and bring any concerns to your pediatrician. If your child displays any of the following signs of possible developmental delay, speak with your doctor about a referral for speech therapy or physical therapy, depending on the circumstances. Remember, early intervention work so well because there is so much room for growth in the first five years of life!
- Does not walk by eighteen months
- Does not speak at least 15 words by eighteen months
- Does not use two-word sentences by their second birthday
- Does not seem to know the function of everyday household objects such as a toothbrush, hairbrush, spoon, fork, phone, etc.
- Does not follow simple one-step instructions.
- Cannot push a wheeled toy.
- Does not imitate actions or words.
- Fails to develop a heel-toe walking pattern after several months of walking (or child walks exclusively on toes).
If your child exhibits any of these behaviors, early intervention with a speech pathologist, physical therapist, or occupational therapist will tremendously help your child’s development. Helping young children with developmental delays early on typically allows them to catch up to their peers faster than if interventions are implemented later in life, this is due to the plasticity of the brain (the ability for the brain to change and make new connections).
Tips for Parenting Two-Year-Olds: More Resources!
Unfortunately, two-year-olds don’t come with a how-to manual! Here are some excellent resources for parenting your two-year-old in a way that helps balance the push-pull dynamic of dependence and independence.
Other Resources on Growth and Development:
CDC Important Milestones: Your Child by Two Years
The Definitive Guide to Understanding and Handling Tantrums and Meltdowns