I remember when my son was a toddler and he would come into our room in the morning (a little earlier than I would have liked) with the widest grin and ready for the day. My husband and I would look at each and say, “well, it’s early, but at least he’s happy!”
We are a family of sleeper-iners. We all like to sleep in. Even my son’s “early” wake-ups, weren’t really that early. He never woke at 5 am, rarely even 6 am.
My husband always tells the story of how when he was a kid, his bed-head family would just be sitting down for breakfast in their nook at the front of their house while outside they could see all the kids from the street who had been up and playing outside already for hours.
So, I guess it should be no surprise that once my son started school, I would have to wake him up. No matter what time he goes to bed, I have to wake him up. About a month into Kindergarten (which is exhausting for any kid), he stopped wanting to get up at all.
He would moan and groan — he would tell me to leave him alone and to go away.
Was he 6 going on 16? What happened to my bright and sunny happy boy?
At some point, not wanting to wake up started became not wanting to go to school.
The mornings got so bad that I began to be anxious about how his day would be when I dropped him off at school.
I checked with his teacher — was anything going on? Did he seem unhappy or anxious at school? His teacher said he seemed to be enjoying school, making friends, having fun.
Watching my son bounce off of the bus in the afternoon with a spring in his step, smile of his face, and full of stories about his day, confirmed his teacher’s reports.
It wasn’t school that was the problem, it wasn’t any BIG underlying problem. It wasn’t going to bed earlier, it wasn’t getting enough sleep. It was just that he’s a sleeper-iner.
It’s been almost a month since we had a truly grumpy morning. I made three little changes and our mornings are happy again, as if by magic, but actually it’s just brain science. 😉
Three Hacks for Happy Mornings with Kids Who Don’t Want to Get Up
First, obviously, do make sure your child is getting enough sleep. They need way more than you realize — here is a great chart about when they should be going to bed to get the recommended amount of sleep that they need.
And they need quality sleep too. To read more about that, check out my bedtime routine post–>Related: A Science-Backed Bedtime Routine for Better Sleep
Note: If you suspect that it is a deeper issue or truly a problem at school, please consult with your pediatrician or school counselor: you can find my resource tools for finding a therapist or doctor here.
1. Let in the Light
When my son was younger and we wanted every minute of extra sleep we could get, we invested in black-out shades, curtains — anything to block that morning light so he would stay in bed just a little longer.
Now, I leave the curtains and the blinds slightly open at night so that morning light will slowly fill his room. This is how our bodies are designed to wake up.
Less than two decades ago scientist discovered a new class of cells on the retina of the eye that have nothing to do with vision, they are there to absorb light and help set our circadian rhythms or our sleep-wake cycle.
Light, literally, wakes up the brain.
Right now, before daylight savings time sets in, the sun is just rising at the time my son needs to get up. And, luckily, his (and my own) bedroom windows are Eastern facing.
In preparation of the dark winter mornings ahead, I am looking into these light therapy wake-up clocks for the whole family, studies show that users report that they wake up more pleasantly and find it easier to get out of bed.
2. Turn on the Music
First, we let natural light (if possible) begin to wake up the brain through the eyes, then we go for the auditory system. A few years ago Spotify reached out to Dr. David Greenberg, a psychologist whose work has specialized in how music can affect mental health, to create the perfect morning playlist to help people wake up. You can find that playlist here: Wake Up on Spotify.
Dr. Greenberg uses three elements to create his playlist:
1. Music that builds (songs that start gently and then pick up).
2. Positivity (songs with positive lyrics and messages).
3. Songs with a strong beat.
For my son, I put some of his favorite songs from movie soundtracks into a playlist and turn it on in the morning.
It starts with Linus & Lucy from the Vince Guaraldi Trio which is a great song that builds, then Wonderful Life by Zendaya from the movie Smallfoot, then Better When I’m Dancing by Meghan Trainor from the movie Trolls. I round it out with songs from Despicable Me, Secret Life of Pets, and more from Trolls.
These first two things have completely turned around our mornings. No more grumpiness. No more morning stomach aches. No more “I hate school!!” Also, the burden is lifted off of me. I go into my son’s room, I open the blinds, I turn on the music, maybe I rub his head and say good morning — but then I leave.
Which brings me to point #3.
3. Wake Your Child Up 10 Minutes Earlier
The last thing you’d think to do with a grumpy child who doesn’t want to get up is to wake them up even earlier right? I realized I was trying to let my son sleep as long as possible and then expected him to jump out of bed, get dressed, eat and run to school.
Who wants to do that? I am definitely not one for jumping out of bed. Why should I expect this from my own child???
So, now I go into my son’s room 10 to 15 minutes earlier than he needs to get up. I open the blinds to let in more light, I turn on the music, then I leave. I go make my coffee, feed the dog, sit for a moment myself, and by the time I go back in (with the dog for extra fluffiness and happy starts to the day) — he’s ready to wake up and with that smile!!
Oh, that smile — I missed it. And maybe it isn’t as easy to get that carefree toddler smile as it once was. The world of a school-age child is bigger, with more pressures and challenges. But, I want home to be a place where the pressure is off — where we can all recharge.
These are little things — music and light, but they can change the whole tone of your mornings.
I hope you have some happy mornings coming your way soon!
Need more for smooth mornings? –> Check out this article about establishing a great morning routine.
Try these Daily Routine Cards (referral link) to help create visual reminders for kids in the morning –> Daily Routine Printable Cards.